This post is a continuation from:
Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop Part 1.
Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop Part 2

“If you don’t consciously feed your desire, you will feed your fear.”
~ Steve Pavlina

On day three of Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop I awoke in terror. I knew that one of the topics we would be discussing was our social life, and after chatting with Steve the night before, I had a sinking feeling that he was going to call me up on stage to sit in the “hot seat” and be coached in front of the group.

I knew that no one could force me to share my challenges with the audience, but there was a part of me that WANTED to share. I felt a lot of anxiety within me surrounding this topic and I didn’t want to let it get the best of me. I had another big “a-ha” moment when I noticed that my fear of being on stage was NOT a fear of being in front of a crowd; it was a fear of allowing people to witness my vulnerability and imperfection; and the possible rejection as a result. This is an issue even in my closest relationships.

By the time Steve asked for a volunteer to come up and discuss their social situation with the group I was in a cold sweat. My heart was beating fast and I felt nauseous. I put my hand up anyway.

And then the most amazing thing happened… I didn’t get picked! I breathed a sigh of relief and the blood returned to my head. I was overjoyed… not only because I hadn’t been chosen but also because of all I had learned about myself in the fear of being chosen! I had learned what I needed to work on: allowing others to see my genuine, imperfect self, and releasing my fear of rejection.

We continued on in our personal development with an in-depth examination of our emotional well-being and spiritual development. Once again I learned more in observing the participants on stage than I did doing the written exercises.

One of the realizations I had on day three that made me feel really great was the awareness that everybody is working on “something”; even Steve Pavlina himself. I also noticed that some of the challenges other people face are a breeze for me and vice versa. It was a relief to know that nobody has it all figured out; if they did, they wouldn’t be on the planet.

It’s important to embody the fact that there will ALWAYS be a “Planet “B” – an unfulfilled desire you wish to bring in to your experience. Once you achieve any goal you’ll immediately be given something new to work towards. Since you never “get it done”, it’s crucial to appreciate where you are at this present moment in time.

This ongoing path of achieving goals and fulfilling desire gives us direction and pulls us forward, and the obstacles that stand in our way help us to grow. FEAR is the only thing that ever blocks us, but facing fear is the secret to exponential growth. One of the things I love about Steve Pavlina is how clearly he demonstrates this in his own life.

Day three of the Conscious Growth Workshop was definitely more emotive as we completed in-depth exercises such as gazing into a partner’s eyes while thinking, “you are loved” and participating in a calming meditation led by Erin Pavlina. There was also an all around sense of greater love and support by day three as so many of us had bonded over the weekend. Day three was by far my favorite day of workshop.

As the sun began to set on Sunday I felt very sad. It was hard for me to bear the thought of leaving this wonderful new family of supportive people that I had grown so close to in only three days time.

I spent two more days in Las Vegas, decompressing and absorbing all the new insights I had acquired. As I traveled back to Toronto on Tuesday night I knew that my experience at the Conscious Growth Workshop had caused a shift within me. I felt like a new and different person.

To be continued with an update in March.

~

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This post is a continuation from Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop Part 1.

“Don’t take advice from someone unless they’re getting the results you want.”
~ Steve Pavlina

Day two of Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop began like every other day in Vegas: with a pre-dawn power walk along the Las Vegas strip. Dodging drunken gamblers early in the morning makes for a great workout. ☺

After a brisk walk and a bowl of fruit, I was eager to get back to work. During the second day we took a more in-depth look at our careers, finances, health, skill set, and daily habits. One by one we applied the principles of truth, love, and power to each element in order to improve our alignment with each quality.

By day two I had already come to the conclusion that my weakest link was my social life, and although we wouldn’t closely examine our relationships until day three, it became clear to me how holographic each element of our lives truly are. The improvements I wanted to make in my career, finances, and health for example could easily be achieved by surrounding myself with a group of like-minded people. It felt like the answer to all my challenges could be solved with a complete overhaul of my social network.

The most powerful learning experience I had on day two of the Conscious Growth Workshop was not found in the written exercises however, it was found in observing the attitudes and energy of others in the group. For each subject we discussed, a participant was invited to come on-stage, share a challenge and receive live coaching from Steve and from the audience.

Earlier on Steve had mentioned, “When you have doubts about what you want, everyone will pick it up around you” and I certainly found that to be the case in observing the live coaching sessions. I noticed that the people who could make things happen in their experience had the ability to focus their energy like a laser; creating an aura of power that was easily perceived just by being around them.

On the other hand, the “foggy” people fed their power to excuses or weren’t sure what they really wanted in life. They allowed their doubts to overshadow their talents and weren’t ready to face the fears that come along with following a path with heart.

Power arose within me when I realized where I was “foggy”. Sometimes I have so many ideas in my head that my energy shoots out in all directions when I would rather focus it all in one place instead. Energy flows where attention goes, so if your attention is all over the place, your power is dispersed and diminished. Day two was a great reminder that true power lies in your ability to focus.

After the workshop I enjoyed a fantastic raw vegan dinner with two of my new friends, and went back to the hotel to review my day. As I fell asleep, I made a resolution to “get clear” about what I wanted so I could emanate the same focus and clarity I admired in Steve and in my fellow CGW’ers.

This post is continued in:
Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop Part 3

~

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“One of the secrets of getting more done is to make a to-do list every day,
keep it visible, and use it as a guide as you go through the day.”
~ Jean de La Fontaine

Are you a list lover? Does organizing your time into perfectly prioritized flow charts of errands and activities really turn you on? Well today is your lucky day, because there is a new list in town. It’s called the NOT-to-do list.

A not-to-do list is a list of activities, attitudes, and actions that are not serving your highest good. It’s a list of habits you recognize as unhealthy and therefore intend NOT to do. It’s a great exercise for when you are feeling frustrated, because in a frustrated state of mind, knowing what you DON’T want is the only way to clarify what you DO want.

If you don’t know what you want to do with your time, what is it that you DON’T want to do?? What habits hold you back? What attitudes swallow you into stagnation? Jot them down. This is your not-to-do list.

Your not-to-do list may look something like this:

I intend not to:

• Work at an unfulfilling job
• Hang out with energy-sucking “friends”
• Suppress my emotions
• Overload my body with low vibratory food
• Blame, judge, or criticize others
• Victimize myself
• Criticize myself
• Attempt to prove myself
• Maintain shallow friendships and relationships
• Abuse alcohol
• Absorb fear-based media
• Gossip
• Ignore my intuition
• Follow the crowd

You’ll notice that some of your negative habits are intertwined. For example, suppressing your emotions goes hand in hand with eating junk or abusing alcohol. Following the crowd is tied in with gossiping or hanging out with energy-draining people. The good news is that crossing off just one of the tasks on your not-to-do list can have a viral effect and will instantly annihilate some of your other negative habits.

You don’t have to refer to your not-to-do list everyday; it’s simply a tool to help you become more honest about what’s working in your life and what isn’t. Once you write the truth out on paper, it’ll be difficult for you to remain in denial about how healthy some of your actions really are. It may even lead you to some new conclusions about why it is you do what you choose to do.

Once you feel open and honest about the items on your not-to-do list, you can use it to create a new list of affirmative intentions for your life – a master TO-DO list. This is easy, because all you have to do is write down the opposite of some of the habits you noted on your not-to-do list.

Your new master to-do list might look something like this:

I intend to:

• Create / find a fulfilling job that utilizes my talents
• Hang out with uplifting & inspiring friends
• Be open with my emotions
• Nourish my body with the most radiant food available
• Support, love, and inspire those around me
• Take responsibility for myself
• Love & honor myself
• Create deep and meaningful friendships and relationships
• Look for good news in the world
• Follow my intuition
• Boldly do my own “thing”

Your master to-do list IS something you can read and refer to everyday. Use it as a guide to help you make decisions and prioritize your activities. Consciously make choices that are in alignment with the vibe of your master to-do list.

Above all, be compassionate with yourself when you create your lists. It’s not an excuse to beat yourself up for imperfection. It’s just an introspective exercise designed to lead you into the blissful, fulfilling, healthy life you are meant to live.

In the end, the only thing that matters is that “joyful living” is number one on your to-do list.

~

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“Security is an illusion.”
~ Steve Pavlina

Last week I spent three intensive days with 99 other personal development aficionados at a Las Vegas workshop facilitated by writer and motivational speaker, Steve Pavlina. You may be familiar with Steve from his tremendously successful blog and book, “Personal Development for Smart People”. Steve’s latest project, the “Conscious Growth Workshop”, is an intensive learning environment that inspires individuals to take action in creating the most fulfilling experiences for their lives.

Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop is divided into three days of self-reflection, creating a space for participants to evaluate the current status of eight different aspects of life: career, money, physical health, relationships, education, daily habits, emotional life, and spiritual life. Steve guides the workshop participants in applying his principles of “Truth, Love, and Power” to each element in order to determine where they currently stand (what Steve calls “Planet A”) and where they wish to be (“Planet B”). Closing the gap between “A” and “B” almost always includes revealing hidden fears that keep us stuck on “Planet A”, and summoning the courage to overcome them.

To say that my experience at Steve’s workshop was a triumphant success would be an understatement. By lunchtime on day one I had my first epiphany, which surfaced from surge of emotion I had while evaluating my current state of affairs. All of a sudden I realized that one of the main reasons I’m attracted to personal development is a subconscious fear of not being “good enough” just as I am. As I observed Steve, I noticed the difference in energy between a person who is “on the path” because it’s fun and a person who is “on the path” because s/he feels intrinsically flawed.

Before going any further, I decided to process the emotion attached to this “not good enough” feeling or I knew I wouldn’t last the rest of the weekend. I’ve heard that other people have walked out in the middle of Steve’s previous talks and I wouldn’t be surprised if a feeling of “unworthiness” was the cause. In any case, I used the entire lunch break of day one to journal and release some emotion using EFT. Two hours later, I felt a new sense of calm and clarity. I was eager for more conscious growth!

Although day one was more of an opportunity for us to take a personal inventory of our lives, we were also given some fear-busting exercises to carry out over the course of the weekend. The exercise I found most difficult was the “power” exercise in which we had to approach strangers in the hotel with random (and sometimes wacky) questions or comments. This was a challenge for me as I’ve always been somewhat shy and afraid of people. I’m happy to announce that another fragment of that fear dissolved when I approached a hotel worker in the lobby and told her that she was loved. Her eyes immediately softened and filled with gratitude. “Thank you, thank you, thank you” she said, as I realized I had just told her exactly what she needed to hear.

Another powerful exercise on day one was the transdimensional meditation in which we connected to our higher selves for guidance. When I asked my higher self what I should be doing for a living, I was surprised to “see” myself singing again, as I have not seriously considered taking on any new music projects for the last few months.

As day one of the workshop drew to a close, my new friends scurried to make plans for the evening. I was ecstatic to be asked to go see “LOVE” at the Mirage, a Cirque de Soliel show featuring all Beatles music.

My heart filled with joy as I watched “LOVE” and appreciated all the joy, laughter, and innocence expressed by the dancers. I thought about my emotional experience earlier in the day and had my second epiphany; I decided that from this point forward, I would transfer the light-hearted, playful feeling of Cirque de Soliel unto my path of personal development.

To be continued in:
Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop Part 2
Steve Pavlina’s Conscious Growth Workshop Part 3
~

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“The heart knows reasons that reason cannot know.”
~ Blaise Pascal

When it comes to making decisions in Life, there are really only two choices at stake: adhering to the logic in your head, or following the wisdom of your heart.

People who make decisions using logic weigh their options carefully and act out all possible future scenarios in their heads. Massive amounts of time and energy are consumed as they try their best to arrive at an answer that makes the most “sense”. They succumb to external input from family, friends, the media and their culture rather than tuning into their own inner guidance system. In the end, they are “satisfied” with their decision, but they never fully rid themselves of the nagging feeling that somehow things could have been better or different.

People who make decisions from the heart throw logic out the window. They leave behind the pros and cons and stay centered in the present moment to make their decisions instead of engulfing themselves with worry about their future. Their decision might not make 100% sense to them, but they trust it anyway. They don’t care what other people think because they know that their intuition is tapped into the highest good for all.

The difference in results between a head versus heart decision is the difference between a rusty can of sardines and a fresh fillet of salmon. A decision made from the head results in security. But a decision made from the heart results in fulfillment.

A few years ago I faced a major “head versus heart” decision when I kept getting the nagging feeling to quit my job in order to focus on my home based business. At first I ignored my intuition, not wanting to give up the security of a regular paycheck. Using logic, I kept convincing myself that I didn’t really have the skills to make a living as an entrepreneur.

I ignored the voice until it eventually expanded from a whisper to a shout. After 6 months of gagging my gut instinct, I was exhausted, depressed, underweight and confused. My doctor encouraged me to take a temporary leave from work but three months later, I quit my job entirely and followed my instincts.

The day I quit my job felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Of course I was still terrified about the insecurity that came with being your own boss. But deep inside I knew I had made the right decision, and there was a silence in my mind I had never experienced before. What I was feeling was the relief that comes when you make a decision to follow your heart.

The reason we hesitate to follow our hearts is because we know it’s a path that requires that we face our deepest fears. Fear of abandonment, fear of loss, fear of failure, and fear of unworthiness are universal fears that every human experiences. But real joy only comes from living in alignment with the highest possibility for your life, which goes hand in hand with courage. You’ll never receive the rewards that come from following a heart-centered life if you’re stuck making decisions from a place of fear and insecurity.

If you decide to follow the path with heart, it’s essential that you become aware of all the ways your logical mind will try to regain control of your actions. One of the biggest culprits is distraction. Obsessive eating, shopping, working and most of all, compulsive thinking are all examples of addictive behaviors that aim to distract you from the wisdom of your heart. After all, if you’re continually preoccupied with the voice in your head or on a hunt for gratification in the external world, you’ll never have time or energy left over to pay attention to your internal world.

Following your heart requires that you set aside time to listen to it. I find that taking a few minutes in the early morning to “tune in” before my logical mind is awake is of the best ways of tapping into my intuition. I often make notes because when I return to them at a later time, it’s easy to see that the wisdom coming through was much more powerful than anything my head would ever dream up.

It’s been over three years since I quit my job and guess what peeps?? I’m still alive! My business is thriving and in terms of my “career”, I feel joyful, grateful, free, and fulfilled. There have been ups and downs along the way, but I never have regretted my decision for a second.

Following the heart is a practice as well as an ongoing process, but take it from one who knows… it’s an adventure that is well worth it.

~

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“Most people are completely identified with the voice in the head.”
~ Eckhart Tolle
“The greatest con ever pulled was making you believe that he is You.”
~ Revolver

Guy Ritchie’s “Revolver” is one of the most thought provoking films I’ve ever seen. If you watch Revolver and truly “get it”, you’ll be pondering its’ message for days, weeks and months to come. I watched Revolver for the umpteenth time last weekend, and felt inspired to share my thoughts.

“The only way to get smarter, is by playing a smarter opponent.”
~ Revolver

Revolver is a film about a brilliant con man named Jake Green (Jason Statham), who has recently been released from prison. After spending seven years in solitary confinement, Jake is seeking revenge on the man who put him behind bars – casino owner Dorothy Macha (Ray Liotta).

During his time in prison, Jake acquired a specific strategy (the “Formula”) that is thought to assist a player win any game. The film revolves around Jake’s revelatory awakening, as he uses the Formula not only to outsmart Macha, but also to play the “game” of life.

“You will always find a good opponent in the very last place you would ever look.”
~ Revolver

After Macha orders a hit on Jake, he finds himself assisted by two mysterious men – Zach and Avi, who offer to save his life in return for money. Avi inspires Jake to contemplate the nature of the human ego, telling him how “the greatest con [that the ego] ever pulled was making you believe that he is you.” He describes how the “ultimate con” is the reality that few people have the courage to face their egos because of their life-long investment in them.

The more sophisticated the Game, the more sophisticated the Opponent.
~ Revolver

A pivotal epiphany occurs in Revolver when Jake realizes that his true identity lies beyond the voice he hears in his head; beyond his personality or “ego”. When Jake awakens to the fact that the real opponent lies within his own mind, he begins to make a conscious effort to examine and question everything it tells him to do. This is the most genuine application of the “Formula”.

You’ve heard that voice for so long, you believe it to be You.
~ Revolver

Most of us have been listening to the voices in our heads for so many years that we have forgotten who we truly are. One of the intentions of Revolver is to inspire you realize that you are not your thoughts; you are the awareness behind your thoughts. If you fail to recognize this, your life will be limited. You will never fully grasp the power that comes with deliberately choosing how you wish to think and feel. In egoic consciousness, you are continually preoccupied with thoughts of self-preservation and separation rather than deliberate creation. Life “revolves” in circles when you continually offer thoughts as a reaction to external circumstances rather than choose your own thoughts from within.

In order to cultivate awareness within your own mind, begin to examine each thought and ask yourself, “do I want this to be true?” In this process of self-questioning, you’ll recognize you have the power to decide whether you are helping or hindering yourself with every thought that passes through your awareness.

Wherever you don’t want to go, is where you will find him. What is it that you are afraid of?
~ Revolver

One of the most memorable scenes in Revolver is Jake’s deliberate confrontation of his claustrophobia in an elevator. Though his ego reacts with fury, it is Jake’s first glimpse of the power of his higher Self. It’s a brilliant demonstration of one of the most effective ways of rising above the ego – by acknowledging your greatest fears and taking subsequent action to overcome them. When you face fear, the dominance of your ego diminishes.

Facing fear is a powerful practice because confronting the voice in your head will eventually prove it is a transient illusion, and the radiance of who you truly are will step in to replace it. You will realize you have choices and options about how you wish to live your life. The bondage that comes from holding yourself hostage to your own fears will disintegrate.

Challenge the ego by taking some time to make a list of things you’re afraid of… and then hold a brainstorming session to come up with action-oriented steps to overcome them. If you’re afraid of public speaking, join toastmasters. If you’re afraid of heights, go skydiving. Whatever it is you fear, you must eventually face… that’s just part of the Game.

Everybody’s in this Game, and nobody knows it.
~ Revolver

The game that is played between the head and the heart is a game that every human being on the planet is playing. Though most are not aware they are playing such a game, many are beginning to wake up to it. This awakening is a key element in the evolution of human consciousness.

I was reminded of a favorite story in Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”, when he describes his first glimpse of the insanity of his own mind. Following an encounter with an angry woman on the subway who thinks out loud, Eckhart realizes the similarities within his own consciousness. “Isn’t my mind as incessantly active as hers??” he asks himself.

We all have a slice of that egoic insanity, but few have the courage to face it. It’s no surprise that Revolver wasn’t a hit at the box office, not because it’s not an awesome flick (it is) but because it was released ahead of its’ time. For an audience who is still completely identified with a mind-made sense of self, the movie would appear confusing… and even threatening to an individual’s ego. It’s easy to see the inner chaos in another person or in a movie character; not so easy to admit that same chaos exists within yourself.

Continual courage and intense awareness are what’s required in order to dissolve the ego’s stronghold on your life. You will never be truly free when you’re tick-tocking unconsciously through life, completely enraptured by the disruptive and repetitive thought patterns of your frightened personality.

So in the end, perhaps Jake’s sidekick Avi said it best: “How radical are you prepared to be?”

~

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“There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.”
~ Anthony Robbins

Last year, 40% of US marriages ended in divorce. Our culture labels these relationships as failures, but is there really such a thing as a “failed relationship”? Or is this just another label we use to disempower our lives with guilt, regret, and resentment?

If you look back upon your life you’ll notice that your external reality has always been in a constant state of flux. Everything has continually changed form in order to provide you with new opportunities to experience life, express yourself, and evolve into a more conscious human being. Friends and teachers have come and gone. Houses bought and sold. Jobs and careers embraced and released. And it all happened in perfect timing, whether or not you were aware of the fundamental order that governs the Universe.

Nature continually replaces the old with the new. This time next year, 98% of the atoms in your body will have replaced themselves with new ones. So if everything else in existence is continually striving to be better, healthier, and more harmonious, why do we beat ourselves up for “failing” in a relationship if it no longer works for us? What if our culture was more accepting of the transience of Life, including the transience of relationships?

The New Paradigm of Relationships

The ever-increasing divorce rate is not a sign of failure; it is a sign of change. It’s a sign that the nature of human relationships is in the process of evolving. Although love will always be the catalyst that draws two people together, there are always secondary reasons why people choose to make a long term commitment to each other. In the old paradigm, couples were united in marriage for the purpose of emotional and physical security. In the new paradigm, couples will unite for the primary purpose of conscious personal growth.

Since the soul favors experience and evolution over security, relationships of the future will most likely have shorter life spans and marriage will become less popular. It will be understood and accepted that remaining in the same relationship for 50 years does not always serve the soul’s highest evolutionary path.

Another worn out concept currently dissolving within the collective consciousness is the notion that we need an “other half” to complete us. As the concept of oneness and unity emerges on the planet, we will no longer need to seek our sense of wholeness in a mate. Our recognition of the underlying connection we have with ALL beings will give us the sense of wholeness we’ve traditionally sought out in a marriage.

All relationships in the new paradigm will be viewed as mirrors of our own consciousness. We’ll look at what is being reflected in our partner with the intention of healing and celebrating the same qualities within our own souls. When our lessons have been consciously embodied in one relationship, we’ll be free to move forward into the next experience. It won’t matter how long a relationship lasts as long as we feel we have consciously embraced the opportunities for growth and development that were provided by our partner.

There are No Failures

If you ever felt that you have “failed” at a relationship, stop and look at the situation from the perspective of personal growth. What did you learn from your relationship? What did you experience? What did you express? How did you evolve? Since the purpose of your relationship was evolution, consider what qualities might have been seeking to emerge that could not have been developed otherwise. Some of these qualities might include:

• Courage
• Trust
• Confidence
• Loyalty
• Unconditional Love
• Surrender
• Honesty
• Self Reliance
• Responsibility
• Creativity
• Self Love
• Strength

In looking at your life experience from this higher perspective, you’ll discover a golden nugget in even the most difficult situations. If you emerged on the other side of any relationship as a more conscious, more loving, more evolved human being, regard the entire experience as a triumphant success. In the grand scheme of things there is no such thing as failure, only opportunities to learn and grow. It’s time to release the guilt and resentment and accept deeply that there is no such thing as a failed relationship.

~

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“All that we are is a result of what we have thought.”
~ Buddha

Hello, brilliant ones. Here I am pumping out the vlogs like Mr. T pumps out breakfast cereal. My fourth video based on Masaru Emoto’s book “The Hidden Messages in Water” is ready for you to watch and share. As always, hats off to Mr. Cailen Dye for the music. If you enjoy this video please consider making a donation as your contribution helps me to continue to create these vids and put them out there for free. Enjoy!

Recommended Reading:

• The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto
• Love Thyself by Masaru Emoto
• Water: The Great Mystery (DVD)

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“Think Different.”
~ Apple

Last week I was interviewed for the “geek” section of Bit Rebels by social media guru Khayyam Wakil. Khayyam is my newest and craziest Twitter friend, whose Twitter feed I lovingly describe as “a blender without a lid”. Yes, I am aware that like attracts like.

Click on the screenshot below to enjoy the interview. ~ xo kb.

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“Worry is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do,
but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

Hello dear friends! My third video blog based on the post “Overcoming Worry” is ready for your enjoyment. Once again thank you to the super talented Cailen Dye for the music. If you enjoy this video please consider making a donation as your contribution helps me to continue to create these vids and put them out there for free. Enjoy!

Recommended Reading:

• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
• Overcoming Fears by Louise Hay

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