Ditch Your Resistance to Change
“Life’s too short to fight the forces of change.”
~ Seth Godin
The nature of the Universe is change. Everything is constantly evolving, unfolding, and progressing for the better. I love how Michael Beckwith declares that if a year has gone by and you have remained the same, you’ve actually taken a step backwards. This is because while you’ve been stubbornly resisting change, the rest of the Universe has continued to take giant leaps forward. By staying the same, you fall behind.
Many people claim to be “stuck” in stagnation. They complain about their current life situation and can’t seem to find a way to change it. If you feel this way, you’ve fallen for another misperception of life here in space and time. The truth is that it’s not possible to be stuck. In reality, we’re all just vibrating fields of energy, and energy can never be stagnant. If you feel “stuck”, it’s because you’re using up all your creative power to re-create the same situation for yourself, over and over again. This is a deliberate (although sometimes unconscious) choice you’re making for yourself, and until you admit to that, you’ll never wield the power to change it.
The degree of your stagnation is always directly proportionate to the degree of your resistance to change. You may say that you want to change your life, but do you really?? Could there be a part of you that would rather just keep everything just as it is?
The truth is that we would rather stay where we are than move forward, because where we are is comfortable and safe. We resist change because it always presents itself with an element of uncertainty – something we are all terrified of. We’d rather remain miserably stagnant and secure, than move forward towards the life of our dreams if there’s any kind of risk involved. We give every excuse in the book to remain where we are, so we don’t have to face the fears that are so purposefully embedded into the path of our own evolution.
Excuses, Excuses!
One excuse is telling yourself that it’s just not possible to “have it all”. It goes like this: “well, I like my job, and I’m very healthy. This marriage that I’m in really blows, but two out of three ain’t bad”.
Deep down you know you’re meant to flourish in all aspects of your life. Chasing dreams and making goals towards bringing your life into balance is what leads you to grow. Good work trying to ignore your still, small voice though.
Another excuse involves putting it off until tomorrow. “I know I said I’d start eating better, but I always have popcorn at the movies. I promise I’ll change my diet, but I’ll start tomorrow”.
This obviously never works because tomorrow never comes, and neither does the solution to your problem. Perhaps you’re also one of those people who have fallen for the “Free Beer Tomorrow” sign at your local pub.
My classic excuse for refusing to embrace change is perfectionism. You might be surprised to discover that I bought the domain and hosting for this blog in April 2008. It took me almost a year to summon the courage to start it, because I was afraid of not having the ability to write perfect posts or be a perfect inspiration. Well I certainly have no training in writing and I’m by far not a perfect role model. But I have received inner guidance to share my perspective on life, so one day I just decided to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
To escape from mediocrity and stagnation, you first have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. When you consciously step onto the path of your own evolution and progress forward, you’ll continually experience the feeling of discomfort. For example, I used to be so shy that answering the door to the pizza guy would make me nervous. I’ve overcome that fear, but I get the exact same feeling now when I sing for a few hundred people. As I continue to put myself out of my comfort zone, I grow. However my feeling of discomfort remains exactly the same. Giving into fear reinforces it, so I’ve decided that I might as well start to think of taking these risks as a thrilling adventure instead of a loathsome burden. It’s kind of fun, like a daily bungee jump.
Change Your Mind
The other element involved in overcoming resistance to change is challenging engrained and conditioned ways of thinking. If you haven’t realized that your external world is just a mirror of your inner world, now would be a good time to accept this truth. Meditation is a great tool in uncovering the power of your mind because it causes you to distance yourself from your thought patterns, enabling you to analyze whether they are healthy or not. You can use your inner guidance system to determine which thought patterns and beliefs need changing.
It’s Not You, It’s Me
If you start making huge changes in your external life without examining your thought patterns, you’re doomed to re-create the same stressful conditions in a new situation. For example, you’ll quit your job and move across the country to work somewhere else, only to discover that your new boss has the same chip on his shoulder that the old one did. Or you’ll divorce your wife to date some girl you think you’re in love with from work, but in a couple months you discover that she has the exact same nagging habits as your wife. Life will keep repeating itself until you see that the external reality is just a mirror to your internal reality. George Costanza was right, “It’s not you, it’s me”.
Life is a journey, and it’s meant to be a fun one – full of new and exciting experiences. Choosing to stay “stuck” in life is like going out to eat at a Las Vegas buffet and eating only the iceberg lettuce. Why not try sushi? You’ll be glad you did. ☺
~
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April 26th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Best one so far.
And I was right – putting in personal experience gives depth and flavour!
I am visualising so hard that it smokes, and hope one day I’ll grow up to be like you.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:39 am
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October 2nd, 2009 at 12:11 am
I love that, “The truth is that we would rather stay where we are than move forward, because where we are is comfortable and safe.” As a recovered alcoholic, one of my favorite sayings is, “there’s two things an alcoholic hates; the way things are and change.
I believe now that if something is uncomfortable, it means I’m probably getting ready to grow spiritually. “They” say that pain is the touchstone to all spiritual growth, I don’t necessarily agree with that but it sure can be a great motivator! For myself, real significant change–we’re talking about life altering change here, not just moving to another city–came when the pain of living the way I was became greater then the fear of trying something different. It’s called the gift of desperation.
Great post and glad I found your blog!
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